tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659350261915284507.post4976737083828897197..comments2022-04-01T21:34:53.189-07:00Comments on The Old Dinosaur Speaks: Tales From The Friend ZoneKaren Measehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16174943951471638222noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659350261915284507.post-84596973802501896452014-03-22T08:53:13.298-07:002014-03-22T08:53:13.298-07:00Lara, thanks for your comments. I spent more than ...Lara, thanks for your comments. I spent more than 30 years in a sexless friendship with a woman (she didn't want sex with anyone, I didn't want sex with her) in which the frequent companionship served as an acceptable (most of the time) substitute for an intimate relationship with a more significant other. That companionability became toxic a couple years ago - not inimical but much less rewarding. My re-entry to the dating scene has been less than joyous though I remain hopeful. I am flexible and capable of change but I will never be phony. I refuse to be untrue to myself.Karen Measehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16174943951471638222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659350261915284507.post-50774064521811743262014-03-18T15:44:53.713-07:002014-03-18T15:44:53.713-07:00You raise some good points with this - there are a...You raise some good points with this - there are a lot of bits of advice 'out there' that I term "nice in theory", but don't hold up all too well in practice - borderline assault as a 'romantic gesture' is one of them. It's a nice fantasy, but in reality it's ouchy! <br /><br />As for the 'bad boy' attraction - another "nice in theory" if you've never experienced that in your life - but in reality it also is pretty ouchy. As for women who seem to be drawn over and over again to the abusive type - it usually indicates they have unresolved issues with their more-than-likely abusive childhood, rather than lacking a "depth of character". <br /><br />They are more in need of a good therapist than a significant other, and only someone with the patience of a saint and a tolerance for long, protracted years of drama would have even a sliver of hope of surviving with sanity intact after taking such a fixer-upper on.<br /><br />Compatibility is more rare than people think, once you dig under the surface commonalities. Once the initial "chemistry" has faded, is there anything left to survive the rest of a life together? It really is important to find a relationship that allows both parties to change and grow. <br /><br />Hmm...you've brought to mind many things to ponder with this one. Thank you.ShinyIndigohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13835407877170566776noreply@blogger.com