Your sharing of your discomfort struck a chord in me as I had experienced a similar frustration recently. It’s evident that this type of inconsiderateness can be perpetrated by persons of either gender. In my case, I ultimately concluded it was because of immaturity and insecurity and that, had I been able to get closer to the young woman sooner, I would have probably found there was no reason for my intense attraction to her, that it was an idiopathic attraction (or an idiotic one as a wishful thinking old fool.)
Funny thing about Love — funny peculiar not funny ha-ha. When it is of the variety of lightning bolt, clap of thunder, fireworks and butterflies all at once kind of love, it’s often referred to as “love at first sight”. But it really isn’t. In the words of the poet, John Donne
“Love is a growing, or full constant light, And its first minute, after noon, is night.”
Love can’t grow if it is simply the unexplained desire of one person to be close to another. To grow, it must be mutual. That mutuality has to be evidenced and nurtured at the very least by consideration of the other whether the feelings are the same in both or not.
It is the most humane thing to reveal as soon as known that mutuality is not there and likely never will be. To walk away without word borders on cruel and unusual punishment.
I’ve said that I can deal with joy, I can deal with sorrow but I cannot deal with silence. The silence delayed my “moving on” and getting past the painful emptiness. That emptiness now is not for the end of a love — we never even embraced — it’s for the loss of a possibility which seemed so sweet.
The good from this for me is that I discovered emotions I once thought long dead are still there and waiting for their entrance cue.
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.”
— Johnny Depp
Je ne vais pas oublier
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