Brain Surgery Blindfolded

    Negotiating the emotional mine field of interpersonal communication can sometimes be as challenging as doing brain surgery while blindfolded. In the old days a cave man would simply choose a woman to be his mate and drag her home to his lair.

    Enter civilization and doors which every gentleman will hold for a lady and a whole new set of behavioral requirements and expectations come into play. Nothing simple like, “I like you. Do you like me?”

    Instead we begin playing by rules more stringent than the no-smoking rules popping up everywhere, rules which even though unwritten are no less stringent. Like eye contact — 2 and a half seconds and not one microsecond longer or it’ll be regarded as an unwelcome stare. Less than that it might be seen as a “not interested” passing glance.

    And with eye contact, a smile. The greater the like, the brighter the smile and if the smile muscles are at max, an overflow to the eye muscles for an involuntary twinkle in the eye kind of like a wink without winking. Gone are the days of “I’m OK, You’re OK” or “What Do You Say After You Say Hello?” where awareness of relating Adult to Adult was the major guidance.

    Subtlety is the way today. It may be true that “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” but we’re all here on THIS planet right now. There should be some common ground which is invariable regardless of planetary origin.

    I think the often seen observation by R. McCloskey is very applicable in unraveling the different ways men and women communicate.

            I know that you believe you understand
            what you think I said,
            but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard
            is not what I meant.

    Do you know what I mean?

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